I was fortunate enough to take a family break in Portugal this year. As it was in the middle of my current L2B (London to Brighton) training cycle, I decided that it was important that I kept my fitness levels high and with that in mind, I nominated myself as Chief Pram Pusher and volunteered to take the twins (F and H) out as many times as necessary to get them to sleep. How difficult could it be?
Day 1 – 15,279 steps
Salema is (was) a sleepy, fishing village in the Algarve and is rightly famous for its beautiful beach. However, the hills into and out of it were like a cobbled rollercoaster which the babies seemed to love. Although I never caught them at it, I could easily imagine them waving their hands above their heads as we negotiated the steep climbs and falls.
I got off to an early start today. The twins were tired from all the travelling yesterday, so I decided to take a gentle stroll down to the beach. When the clear blue sea recedes at low tide you can walk for miles along its white sandy shores unless of course you are trying to push a pram which quickly becomes a plough that digs itself deeper and deeper into the iconic white sand. Not a good look and not one I expect to see featured in any of their tourism brochures.
I could have claimed a ‘win’ as the babas were sleeping deeply but having to dig them out of the sand and not make any sandcastles, reduced it to a draw.
Babas 0 Papa 0
Day 2 – 14,011 steps
In the swing of it now and I’ve got used to the vibration caused by the cobbles. The pram we brought was a lightweight version that had very little suspension built into its design. It reminded me of trying to ride my bike with a flat tyre.
The heat was stifling. I quickly checked the twins to make sure they were ok and was met with two beautiful smiles, so all was good at this point. The twins are now 7 months old and although they were born minutes apart, they are extreme opposites in all aspects of everything.
Halfway through Lap 1, up the steepest part of the incline, the peace and quiet was suddenly interrupted by a loud piercing scream. F’s dummy had disappeared, and he was very eloquent in voicing his annoyance and disapproval. I felt around inside the pram whilst blocking the wheels with my feet. Where was it? The distressed cries grew louder, much louder, to the point where I had to lift him out before windows started to shatter. I still couldn’t find it and my anxiety levels started to spike. It was only when I checked that his sister was ok that I saw that she had a very tight grip of his dummy and was happily waving it around and grinning. After I had gently wrestled it from her grasp, I was able to gradually reduce the noise levels.
Babies 1 Papa 0
Day 3 – 14,265 steps
I’m feeling much more in control now. I’ve decided that the smart thing to do is to create a pre-walk check list. My 686 months of experience should easily prevail over their collective 14 months but yesterday taught me there is always the possibility of being completely outwitted by either twin, or both.
Checklist
- 2 dummies and 1 spare
- One grey floppy rabbit
- One grey donkey
- 2 hats
- 2 squeaky ducks
- 2 cups of water
- 2 milk bottles just in case
- Some organic apple snacks
- Sun cream
- A light blanket to block out the sun/cover their legs
- Nappies/cream/wipes/bags
- Bananas
- Mobile phone
- Some euros
- Oh, and two babies
It went like a dream. Both asleep within minutes. It works!
Babies 1 Papa 1
Day 4 – 15,935
A nice positive start today, the pre-walk checklist was complete, and I deployed my full experience and acquired skills regarding optimal pram pace for sleep and they nodded off in minutes. This is easy now.
I’d created different routes for differing times of the day. The sun was so hot that I tried to keep the twins in the shade wherever possible. This involved keeping close to walls and avoiding walking directly facing the sun, especially in the morning and evening, as the sun shone directly onto the beautiful twosome which was something to avoid.
What felt like a glorious and fully deserved win quickly changed to an epic fail. I felt the twins jump as a police car raced by with its sirens blaring. I guess it was mildly amusing that the noise after it had passed was even louder as the two pram passengers roared their disapproval at being woken in such a way. It took me a while to resettle them but, they were still tired and after a few Papa cuddles (any excuse!) they were back in the land of slumber.
Feeling smug, I turned left and took the right side of the path to keep in the shadow. We swept around the corner just as the groundsman started the engine of his hedge trimmer. The babas were disturbed again and I am rapidly concluding that some days you are just not destined to win.
Babas 2 Papa 1
Day 5 – 15,964 steps
Checklist completed, route designated and away we go.
A beautiful start to the day. The wind had dropped a little and it felt perfect. I love spending time with my family and to be doing so in such an amazing location was fantastic.
We were rattling along, took a sharp climbing left turn and passed a man stood among the trees. That was not unusual, but he was balancing on one leg and had his arms stretched above his head and his hands were flapping up and down. So, being English, I nodded at him and said ‘morning’. No response, so I trundled past on lap 1 of Route C (the a.m. version). 10 minutes later, sharp climbing left turn and he was still there. Hands flapping, stood on one leg but was making whooshing sounds now. I must admit that I hesitated about going past, but the babies were settled, and a quick direction change could ruin everything. I rattled past again. Last lap coming up and I won’t deny that I was a bit unsure what I would be facing as I turned the corner again. I had no need to worry, he was now sat cross legged on the floor playing a flute. Just another perfectly normal day in paradise.
Babas 2 Papa 2
Day 6 – 16,968 steps
The last few days have left me pondering a few questions.
- Why do babies throw away their dummies and then cry because they haven’t got one?
- How can they be fast asleep and snoring but wake up within 0.1 seconds of the pram stopping?
- People who have had babies know the disaster potential of the pram not moving, why do they always want to stop and talk?
- How do you get twins to synchronise their sleep patterns?
Options available:
a) Both awake
b) Both asleep
c) Baby A asleep and Baby B noisily awake. Baby A then wakes up tired. Baby A then goes to sleep earlier than Baby B. Baby A then wake up noisily and disturbs Baby B who then goes to sleep earlier than A…. repeat pattern throughout the day
Question 3 reinforced today. All it took was an ‘oh, how beautiful. Twins!’ and everything went to pieces. Within seconds of the kind comments and smiles I had two wailing wee ones on my hands. They were both asleep!! I had to quickly move on. Too late.
Babies 3 Papa 2
Day 7 – 16,522 steps
Last day. Had a stare off with a wasp. It didn’t stand a chance and decided it would be prudent to fly away rather than risk life and wing by going near the sleeping little ones.
Being with the twins and their amazing big sister had made me even more fiercely protective of my family. I am so blessed to have such special people in my life, and I know that I am one of the luckiest people on the planet.
Total steps – 108,944
Simon Egan 